4.06.2012

LO from Our Crazy Ever After & Amira from Shades of Gray

I had to end the week with a bang - so I obviously selected two blog friends that I just 'met' this year.  In January Amira put out a call for a Pen-pal match up.  At first when I heard about this I was hesitant because truthfully I rarely follow through on things.  It's a huge commitment.  But I love mail.  And I hate bills.  So I gave in and signed up.  Little did I know that Amira is basically cupid and matched me with my Minnesota Twinsie Lo.  Since them a three way blogmance evolved.  Now these ladies came up with a fun post for you where they created questions for eachother and then each answered them - It's pretty funny so be prepared.  Perhaps you'll learn something (new) about each of them?  So here we go -Meet Lauren and Amira.


Amira to Lauren

A: How would you describe yourself in three words?
L: Emotional. Hilarious. Anxious. Hopefully my comedic tendencies will make up for my emotional, anxious attributes. It's part of my charm.

A: If I gave you one million dollars (you had no idea I was so wealthy did you?) what would you do with it?
L: Is this your way of buttering up to Emily by paying homage to her Canadian homeboys, Bare Naked Ladies? If so, well played, my friend. Well played. As for my very own million dollars....I'd buy Jesse and I two homes. An old, historical, structurally sound one in Minneapolis for me. And then a place for Jesse in the burbs. I'd then hire Caesar Milan (I think that's his name) to train the crap out of Apple and  Bobo. Cuz lets face it. I have failed miserably in that department (Lord help us when we have human babies). I'd also spend some on travel (but not much cuz I am a bit of a homebody and being outside my comfort zone stresses me out--I blame watching too many National Lampoon Family Vacation movies). Trips to Cali and Canada are both definitely in the cards. I'd donate a lot of money to underprivileged youth in my  community. And give some to my family.

A: Who do you like more, me or Emily?
L: Don't do this to me. Don't you dare.

A: Which character of Friends do you most closely identify with? {I'm AM Monica Gellar although I've always wanted to be Rachel}
L: Phoebe. Hands down. Well Phoebe minus the quirky attire. Phoebe in yoga pants and hoodies. Oh and maybe with a dash of Chandler's ex, Janice (with a MN accent). Oh. My. Gawd.

A: If you could snap your fingers and have any job in the world, what would it be? (All talents, skills and education necessary would become yours instantly.)
L: I would love to own my own business. Growing up I had grandmothers who owned their own businesses. One was a floral designer who owner her own shop, and the other was an antique dealer (slash hoarder of unique goods), who dealt out of her home (antiques, not drugs) and also had her own shop. I have a passion for both of those things and would love to hone them in and open a shop that specializes in unique, refurbished furniture. And plants. There would be a mood altering greenhouse attached. Every time you'd go in there any bout of blues would melt away. And I'd do special orders for floral and whatnot. But no wedding work. Cuz brides are crazy.

A: Who
would play you in the movie of your life? Who would play your husband?

L: Hmmm. Good question, A-Dizzle. It would have to be someone funny. I've never seen the movie but I saw a scene from Easy A. The premise of the flick is nauseating at best, but the scene I saw cracked me up. She is dancing in her underwear (I think?) and singing Pocketful Of Sunshine by Natasha Beddingfield after it got stuck in her head when she opened a card that played the song. That is me. In a nutshell. Jesse got me card that plays a Billy Joel song for Valentines Day and I open it and sing along almost every night. So. Emma Stone should play me. Her charm is hot. Her boobs are hot. She's hot. As for who'd play my husband. Matt Damon. But only cuz some of his friends still call him Fake Matt Damon cuz he looked like him in the 90s. But didn't every blonde boy with a butt cut and straight teeth in the 90s look like him?

A: Is Tupac really dead?
L: Sort of. He has passed on. But he has been reincarnated, and come back as my dog, Bobo. That dog is a thug with a tail.

A: Would you rather have a little man that lives in your mouth and incessantly hammers on your teeth or coexist with a small bird that lives on your nose and yanks out your nose hairs at its discretion? (What you've never played Zobmondo before? The Would You Rather game?)
L: Omg. This is an awesome question. And one that I have been pondering for quite sometime. I am going to go with the bird up my shnozz. I had a root canal once and the pain leading up to it, during it, and after was the most awkward and awful pain I have ever experienced. No bueno.

A: Did Adam & Eve have belly buttons?
L: What the crap? Has this been up for debate? Oh because they were created as human adults and not carried in a womb for nine months. I get it. Well then I suppose they were sans belly holes. Good grief. Like I need more things to think about while I am trying to fall into a slumber at night.

A: What's your favorite curse word?
L: Why I never..... OK. All lies. I cuss like a trucker a lot. It's not sexy. I drop the F bomber a bit too much. I can't say I favor it. But it tends to be uttered a bit too much. Usually under my breath, though.

A: If we were gonna go on a blogger bestie date, tell me how you'd go about courting me (i.e. what would we do, and where would we go)
L: I'd fly you to Minneapolis where we'd stay in a posh, ritzy hotel downtown. We'd see whatever musical is playing at the Orpheum (fingers crossed it is Mamma Mia). We'd then meet up with my gays (yes, I have an arsenal of homosexual males at my disposal) and go to The Saloon for some late night debauchery. We'd stay up all night. But we still wouldn't be tired in the morning so we'd go shopping. Might even take you to the Mall of America if I took a sedative (I hate that place). And throughout it all we'd eat lots of calorie free Mexican food. And sushi. And drink adult beverages. And braid each other's hair. Boom. Best date ever.

Lauren to Amira
L: Who was your first kiss? And do you still talk to this person?
A: My first kiss was Jon H. I was 12 years old and our friends set it all up for us. 7:30 am before class, on the grass field by the track. I think I saw fireworks when it finally happened. Afterwards, I was so dizzy trying to walk to class, I thought I was going to fall over. We "dated" for two years and it took me like 7 years to get over him, ha. We don't talk anymore, last I heard he was in jail. Whaaaa? I definitely knew how to pick 'em ladies.

L: What is the most scandalous thing you've NEVER done? Ie: if you could do something and not get caught what would it be?
A: I would have pooped on George Bush's front porch...but you can't post that because I don't want all of the republicans to stop following me. Wait. Maybe I do? Seriously, we can't post that. Let's delete this question, please. DELETE.

L: Would you rather...eat a diet of canned cat food for a week or have an allergic reaction to a Brazilian wax that healed within a week?
A: I have to ask how painful the allergic reaction is. If there isn't any pain, and it's just hideous to look at, I'll go with that. Brandon won't mind. If there's any pain involved this decision becomes much more difficult. I just realized that there is probably a significant amount of pain that goes along with the waxing itself. Now I'm stumped. I just can't eat cat food. I can't do it. Especially the wet kind.

L: If you could own any small business what kind of business would it be?
A: A book store! With a charming fireplace and big cozy chairs.

L: You're from California. Have you ever surfed? Or met a Kardashian? Have you ever met a Kardashian while surfing? HAVE YOU EVER SURFED WITH A KARDASHIAN?!?
A: Let's get this out there right now, you've never met anyone more "non-athletic" then me. I also have a fear of the ocean. I don't like how seaweed gets wrapped around my ankles. I know, I'm totally blowing this cool California girl thing I had going on. But I don't think Kim, Khloe or Kourtney can surf either. I might get booed for this, but I pretty much want to be the 4th Kardashian sister (Kendall and Kylie don't count). Kamira.

L: What kind of vehicle do you drive? Do you ever get angry while you're driving it? Be honest, Amira.
A: Lauren is completely hanging me out to dry here. She knows about my disorder. I suffer from a teensy bit of road rage. Am I freaking everyone out? I don't like slow drivers in the fast line, or people that tailgate me. Or people that don't use turn signals, or people who don't get over when they are turning so I have to completely stop even though I'm going straight. I really just don't like any other cars on the road at all. Also, I drive a red Honda Accord. If you see me, watch out.

L: Did you ever have a crush on a teacher? Details please.
A: Two words. Rocco Versaci. Dr. Versaci was my literature professor my freshman year of college. He was probably early 30's, dark wavy hair, black hipster glasses (before they were cool) and always an argyle sweater. Mmm mmm mmm.

L: What did you want to be when you were a wee Amira?
A: At one point, I wanted to work at McDonald's so I could wear the cool headset, but my mom told me I couldn't (I was 5) and I cried. Then, I wanted to be a bus driver. I would ride my bike up and down the street stopping at all of the mailboxes, and making the "Chhh" sound of the door while my imaginary passengers boarded my imaginary bus. Then I wanted to be on the radio, but my dad told me I had too squeaky of a voice and I cried again.

L: What crowd did you hang out with in high school? Were you a loner? Theater need? Jock? Student council president?
A: I'm gonna toot my own horn here and say that I had a lot of friends in high school. They were from all groups. I dated a guy that sat at the "Skater Table". Some of my closest friends were cheerleaders. Some of my favorite people ever were the funny class clowns. My best friends and I were, well, I don't know, just regular. I was on the yearbook staff my junior year.

L: Tell me your biggest pet peeve.
A: Other drivers. Loud chewing. Cell phone salesmen in the mall. Ignorance. People that text or play on their phones during a movie. repetitive tapping or noises. junk mail. (not in that order) I'm sorry did you only want one?

11 comments:

  1. lol great post ladies! I love ALL three of you so this was pretty much my perfect post ;)

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  2. You girls are hysterical!!! Seriously, I am cracking up right now. Thanks for the Friday laughs :)

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  3. I love this, some of my fav bloggers all on one page! You guys are so hilarious, I especially love the barenaked ladies reference and "Kamira" Happy Friday, this post just made mine!

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  4. LOOOVE the post!! & these two ladies. word up, e-ho.

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  5. OMG, I forgot this was debuting today!!! I have to write a post about it on my own page! Reading Lo's answers were hysterical. What is a "Butt cut" exactly? Also, you totally didn't delete the pooping on George's front porch answer!!!!!

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  6. Again, LOOOVE this post! Gave you an award, Miss e-ho. So..when you come back from vacay, take care of it. k love bye!

    http://mynewwifelife.blogspot.com/2012/04/versatile-blogger-leibster-award.html

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  7. Haha! I love how hair braiding is part of the ideal blogger date!

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  8. Haha! I love how hair braiding is part of the ideal blogger date!

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  9. This is hilarious. I can't wait to meet Bobo Shakur.

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  10. You ladies are TOO funny! Loved this :)

    Kamira.
    Not wanting republicans to stop following you.
    Cesar Milan training Bobo & Apple.

    Bwahahahaha.

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  11. Hahaha! This post was great. Amira, we totally have the same pet peeves. My mom can crunch ANYTHING. Give her pudding, she can crunch it. And my husband would also say I have major road rage. Nothing wrong with a little rage! You girls had me cracking up!! Love it.

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